What If HP Edition
by DeathGlobalZone
Summary: What if a fan of the Harry Potter series wished that they could change what they wanted about the series... and got the chance? (Just not in the way she would expect) Join Jamie, a teenager who spends too much time on the internet, on their adventures through Hogwarts? (OC-centric, kinda. I'm screwing with everything, basically) (T for language and minor sexual themes later maybe)
1. Chapter 1

**What if? Harry Potter Edition!**

 **A/N: As all great stories start, I was talking to my BFF and this sorta… happened. IDK, it's supposed to be humorous.**

 **Yeah.**

 **XxXxX**

A young teenager lays alone in her room, disgruntled; Jamie was her name. The Harry Potter series lay next to her on the bed, scattered and each opened to various pages.

' _You know what sucks balls,'_ the brown haired girl thinks to herself, _'That Harry never really tried to make things better at the Dursley's any better, never really thought stuff through. And, yeah, I know that it's all a part of his charm, and I love him and his sass, but..'_ she rolls over, groping for her glasses and cramming them on her face.

' _I just wish he had done more than, you know, follow Dumbledore blindly for years then name one of his fucking kids after two of the most manipulative assholes in his life. Like, seriously, what the fuck? And there was definitely something going on with Malfoy. They totes had a crush on each other, don't even try to deny it. Like, fuckin' fight me, man."_

Jamie looked at the clock and sighed; 3:30 am.

"Time to sleep, I guess."

She strips down to her underclothes and puts on a large t-shirt, crawling under her covers and turning out her light before closing her eyes.

Jamie's last thought (after, y'know, playing out a whole movie in her head) before falling asleep was…

' _If I were Harry Potter, I'd change so many things… I wish I could change how the series went…'_

And with that, Jamie went to sleep, not knowing that Fate was bored as fuck.

 **XxXxXxX**

' _Oh, really, my little nerd…?~'_ Fate thinks to themselves, smirking. _'You sure know how to tempt me, don't you?'_ They push off from that desktop to another, spinning their chair to another desk, labeled 'Harry Potter'. It was but one of millions of such computers, each for another dimension, each with an infinity of outcomes that branch off of the main Line of Fate, how everything was planned to go thousands of years ago.

Fate smirks, a glint in their eyes.

' _I don't think you understand how bored I've been, kiddo… You'll be quite the source of entertainment… for_ all _of us.'_

Fate giggles, a mischievous smile on their lips as they press a dull Fate Line branching off of Harry Potters main one, dragging Jamie's main one to meet it.

Getting up and stretching, Fate walks out of the room, intending to get Death and Life, their subordinates. Who knows, they might be able to watch this human's attempt at controlling Fate?

 **XxXxXxX**

 **Aaaaannnd scene! This chapter is incredibly short, but it felt like a good place to stop, so I did. I'll diverge from cannon soon enough, and intend to get through Jamie's/Harry's time at the Dursley's in the next chapter, so it'll probably be a monster. This is on both my account (DeathGlobalZone) and my AO3 account (TimeTickingToMadness_413).**

 **Thanks!-Toto**

 **Chapter Word Count: 414**

 **Story Word Count: 414**


	2. Chapter 2

**What if? Harry Potter Edition!**

 **A/N: Yay! More of the au I'm pretty sure no one asked for- but I'm writing it anyways!**

 **And sorry about the f bombs, y'all. Jamie kinda talks like me so… Yes, I do curse that much (sometimes)**

 **(Okay, a lot)**

 **XxXxXx Chapter Two xXxXxX**

As Jamie blinked awake, she squinted her eyes and looked around.

This wasn't her room.

Hell, this wasn't _anywhere._

This was just a blank, black, whole lotta _nothing_.

Standing up, she looked around, desperately trying to discern something in the darkness. She began to walk for what felt like hours, but easily could've been just minutes or days. Eventually, just when Jamie felt like laying down and accepting her death (or whatever the fuck happened to her), with minimal yelling into the void, there was a flash of green, a piercing shriek, and she wasn't so alone anymore. There was a mutilated… whatever, only a few feet (distance was weird here) away. Walking over, Jamie wanted to poke the whatever but she didn't want to _touch_ it-

Oh, wonderful.

A ten foot pole.

Hoisting it into her arms, Jamie retreated a safe distance and tried to poke the thing. And tried again. And again.

Listen, it's harder to touch something with a ten foot pole than it sounds, alright?

Finally, Jamie managed to jab the creatures head, and it attacked her. It was clawing at her face, biting and kicking at her hands. Managing to throw it off her she backed up and the creature leaped at her again; she flinched back, arms raised above her head for protection. When no shrieking being collided with her, Jamie opened her eyes. The thing was surrounded by a protective golden bubble, bringing about the scent of spring and lilies and freshly turned, damp earth after rain. A voice came on a sudden wind, melancholy and breathy.

" _Protect my son… I beg you…"_

And Jamie fell to the floor and knew nothing.

 **XxXxXxXxX**

The next time Jamie woke, there was quiet crying.

Searching for the source of the crying, cringing when she tried to stand up, Jamie could find nothing, see no one (the creature from before, pacing around its rather large enclosure, but it didn't count). Words began swirling around her, like a breeze.

" _I want to be far away from here…"_

" _Why do they hate me, I've done nothing wrong…"_

The cries continued, swirling faster and faster, and Jamie soon couldn't take it anymore. She screamed back into the void.

And the child (the voice sounded like a child, anyways), paused.

" _Who… who are you?"_

"Um, um… My name is Jamie…. I'm sorry I screamed…?"

" _Hullo, Jamie… My name's Harry Potter."_

' _Oh, Christ almighty.'_

"It's nice to meet you, Harry." Jamie said, forcing herself to sound calm because _Jesus shit she was in Harry's brain or something._ Sitting down on the ground, she continued. "Why are you crying? Did someone hurt you?"

" _No… I just got in trouble for turning my teachers wig blue."_

"Really?"

" _Yeah… he was making fun of me for not having my homework done."_ Harry's voice began to sound indignant. _"It wasn't my fault. Dudley- he's my bully of a cousin, by the way- took it to turn it in as his own and Aunt Petunia wouldn't give me another sheet of paper for me to do it."_

"Wow, you're family sounds like a fu- I mean, they sound like a load of jerks."

" _Yeah. I just wish I had some other family to take me away from here…"_ He sounded wistful and sad, voice tinged with sound of another onslaught of tears.

"Hey, Harry? Where are you now?" Jamie asked, feeling slightly uncomfortable. When living with her family, she'd wished that they would just stop caring so much. Her mother was a worry wart and her dad always poked his nose in her private business. In her mind, Jamie understood that they only wanted the best for her, but they were so overbearing.

To be frank about it, this line of conversation had quickly grown uncomfortable, and she wanted to change it.

" _I'm in my cupboard. Uncle Vernon says I'm not allowed food for a few days. They don't like it when I act unnormal"_

"Abnormal," Jamie corrected, deep in thought.

' _I have a chance to change the entire story,'_ the brunette fiddled with her hands, picking at the scabs there. _'But should I? It worked out in the end, right? Oh, what-'_

Another voiced penetrated the blank mindscape, one that was certainly not as quiet or sweet as Harry's.

" _BOY! You shut your damned mouth and stop talking to yourself, or you'll regret it, you little freak!"_

The gasps that came right before heavy sobbing filled the void, and Jamie quickly did her best to contain the oncoming storm.

"Shhh, shhh, Harry. It'll be alright, I'm here for you. It's my fault, I should've told you to just… think about what you wanted to say to me instead of talking out loud. It's all going to be fine."

Continuing on with her soothing (if awkward) words, the heavy breathing soon evened out, deepening into slumber. Jamie felt an odd sensation, as though she was moving at great speeds, being deposited in a field. The sky overhead was stormy and a strange, un-nameable color. Confused, the teenager looked about her once more (which seemed to be all that she could do), taking in her slightly eerie surroundings with a shudder.

 _Creak… creak…_

Following the sounds of an old swing set, Jamie found a little black-haired little boy, pumping his legs as he swung.

"Harry…?"

The child stopped his legs and jumped, staggering slightly when he hit the ground. He looked at Jamie curiously, large emerald eyes looking at Jamie. She suddenly realized that she was only wearing a t-shirt and panties, and tugged down the bottom of her shirt. Harry blushed and covered his eyes.

With a poof, a pair of sweats appeared next to Jamie and she hurriedly pulled them on. "Okay, I have pants- or, uh, trousers, on. It's cool."

Slowly peeking between his fingers to make sure before completely uncovering his face; the brunette would've cooed at the child if she wasn't so awkward. _'His eyes are so big and his face is so red, omg he's precious.'_

"Hey, kiddo." She muttered instead.

"Jamie?" Harry whispered, in awe.

"Yeah, it's me."

"You have the same eyes as me."

"Huh?" Jamie blinked, tilting her head in confusion. "I do?"

"Yeah, yeah! They're really big and green and-" Harry blushed again. "And they're really pretty."

Jamie blushed, too, not used to anyone (but her parents) calling anything about her pretty. "Thanks, kiddo-

"Are we related?"

"What?"

"Are you my big sister or something?" Harry asked excitedly, peering up at her, eyes glittering. "We both wear glasses and we have green eyes, and your hair is really messy too!"

Jamie blinked again, hand reflexively going to her hair, before smiling.

"We're not related," Harry looked crestfallen, shrinking into himself "But, sure, I'm your big sister now. Tell me if you ever need help, okay?"

Harry looked back up at her and gave a large grin. Reflexively, Jamie reached out a hand and mussed his hair up even more, the shorter one swatting at her hand and giggling. Sitting next to each other on the swings, the two people started talking.

"Jamie, how did you get inside my head?" Harry looked at her, and she admitted to herself that fanfiction writers were right, his eyes are very expressive.

"Honestly, I have absolutely no idea."

They lapsed into silence for a moment before Jamie broke it again.

"Harry, why do you let your relatives treat you so badly?"

Harry looked at his feet, nervous and uncomfortable. "They're stronger than me, and they give me clothes and stuff so it's not that bad-"

"Kid, they treat you like a slave and are probably breaking child labor laws, and then there's also neglect and child endangerment. Doesn't England have Child Protective Services or something? How old are you, anyways? Either way, they don't feed you nearly enough and the Dursley's are certainly wealthy enough to do so, as well as get you some new clothes instead of giving you Dudleys. And don't let them pull that 'I put clothes on your back and a roof over your head' guilt trip crap."

"How… how did you know that?"

The teen froze, feeling a bit of dread slither its way into her. After a moments contemplation, she decided to tell him what she knew, no holding back. He would have to deal with Dumbledore soon enough, anyways.

"What I'm about to say might sound a bit… fictional, but I swear it's true…"

With that, Jamie went on to tell Harry of what she knew, and what would happen in a few years. She didn't go into full-blown detail, but the gist of it was explained to the boy, who was listening attentively.

"So, yeah. Any questions?" Jamie finished awkwardly, picking at her hands.

"I'm a wizard?" Harry asks, confused. "But Uncle Vernon says it doesn't exist-"

"Fuck what he said!" Jamie exclaims "I-I mean, forget what he said, he's a liar. Plus, it's not science that turned your teacher hair blue, right?"

Harry nods, accepting this at face value, and Jamie ruffles his hair again, causing the child to giggle.

' _Yeah, fuck what actually happens.'_ Jamie thought with a smile as she pushed the kid higher and higher on the swing.

' _Seeing him happy is better.'_

 **XxXxXxX**

 **And after an entire year, an update lmao. Oops. I'm literally about to upload this at school (I obviously have my priorities straight) (Not really) Ja ne! ~Toto**

 **Chapter Word Count: 1,544**

 **Story Word Count:1,958**


End file.
